Science largely agrees with the premise of a Creator. While some theories argue the universe is circular, the majority of evidence points to a linear reality that can be measured using time (i.e., we can predict when the universe began by measuring the speed at which it is expanding and then determining how long it has been existence based on that).

So, the concept of God makes more sense, then the idea that there is no God.

The second question is does God care about creation. Unitarians think not. They think God created the universe and largely walked away. I am sure you have made things and when you were done walked away.

But others religions (not just Christianity) argue, God does care and that He has pursued a relationship with man and man has pursued a relationship with God. Interesting that this belief is present throughout the planet.

The Bible argues God wants a relationship with man. That creates a problem. Without some degree of free will, there can be no relationship. I have heard of people talking to rocks, but never of rocks talking back.

Someday, you might purchase a "pet" robot that obeys your every command... but will that be a "relationship"?

So, if God wants more than just "robots", He had to provide the means for us to behave independently of His desires.

I wouldn't worry too much about what hell is like or even heaven, it is much simpler...

Do you want a relationship with God or not. If not, then that is your choice. I choose God. I believe God is Holy and so I need Christ to facilitate my relationship with God by making me Holy. Kind of reminds of the role of professional counselors who exist to reconcile couples that want to be reconciled. If someone does not want to be reconciled with God, then they choose to separate themselves from God.

You are fighting so hard to deny God, one can only wonder whether deep down you are trying to convince yourself not others.

I wish you the best with your struggle.