Sadly, while most reasonable people would realize that most (not a few) churches are quite welcoming of all people, others especially many who have not attended church have the perception that they are not... and so your "broad strokes" piece confirms their biases.

I don't doubt there are a few very closed churches in this country, but they tend to be dying. People, especially young families join churches to be part of something much bigger... to partner with others to bring the message of Christ including Christian service to others.

Which churches did you attend and feel the way you describe... and why do you go there? Were those churches growing on dying.

I have lived in a dozen states and attended even more churches affiliated with at least a dozen denomination and I have not come across any that act as you describe. But perhaps that is because we looked for churches that put ministry and mission ahead of social gathering.

God continues to work through his church and while churches like any aggregation of people have members that "use" the church for their purposes and not God's, most churches are able to deal with them and still serve God. Perhaps the best perspective of the role of the church in the community is to see individuals as "bricks".

There is a lot a "single" brick can do. But the real power of "bricks" comes when you put them together to build something special. Churches exist to be a blessing their members, their community, and rest of the world. Very few human organizations strive for such noble purposes.