I have listened to his speech at least five times. He is arguing that women will find much greater satisfaction in his families than in their careers. That is true of men and women from my experience except men take longer to realize it.
The women in my family see careers as part of life, not the purpose of life. Perhaps because they witnessed my experience of making it to "the top" and realizing that there is nothing "there". When you look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, once you have gained a certain amount of security... more money just does not hold the attraction it once did, but more time and social relationships become increasingly important.
My experience is pretty broad compared to most people having worked for over a dozen corporations including many large publicly traded companies at senior management positions. Every poll you read on women in the workplace highlights the challenges corporations are having keeping their top performing women from quitting for lifestyle reasons, the problem is not unique with women but far more prevalent.
Here is the result of the Deloitte Global report on women in the workplace...
"The top reason women are considering leaving their current employers? A lack of work-life balance. Only one in five women surveyed believe that their employers have helped them to create clear boundaries between work time and personal time during the pandemic. This is also reflected in the top reason that women are considering dropping out of the workplace entirely: increased workload."
Does that mean women can't "have it all"... career, family life, and personal life. Yes and no. There are some high energy women, that can "do it all" and so "have it all". You know those people, that seem to function on 5-6 hours of sleep with no negative effects. But most humans including women can't.
There are two forms of feminism.
The first I support. That form argues that women should be able to choose their careers without guilt and for some they will choose being a homemaker. The key is individual choice and the consequences that go with those choices.
The second is better thought of as "toxic feminism". Instead of promoting women have the right to choose how to spend their lives, this ideology argues that women must conform to someone else's idea of what they should be.
Whether that "someone else" is a man dictating how they must behave or women dictating how they must behave, it is wrong. Each person is a unique individual. Circling back to Butker, quotes from his speech include...
"We must be intentional with our focus on our state in life and our own vocation. And for most of us, that’s as married men and women."
"I say all of this not from a place of anger, as we get the leaders we deserve. But this does make me reflect on staying in my lane and focusing on my own vocation and how I can be a better father and husband and live in the world but not be of it."
"For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world."
Perhaps you can highlight the quotes you take offense with? If you read the last quote carefully, he is saying that women should not let other people tell them what they should do and be... but instead go with their hearts. I agree with that.
If I were critical of his speech, I would have added a bit more regarding the pressures on men to focus on their careers and at the cost of their family life. He does address the truth that for most graduates of a conservative Catholic university, they are likely to end up as married couples and parents. That is true.
He is warning men, not to let the expectations of others guide them and not to abandon their important role as fathers and husbands.
