“How does one reconcile being racially conscious, progressively feminist, anti-establishment, and generally “woke” with dating interracially? Black women have long battled accusations of being race traitors, especially Black feminist women, who are regularly accused of hating Black men and craving the company of White men.”

Maybe its time to chuck the whole “woke” thing. I never dated Asian women till I met my wife after my first divorce. I am tall and white and I “preferred” tall white blonde women until I fell in love with a short Asian woman and we have been together over 30 years and married for 28 of them. The things I love about her is who she is and not the book cover (which actually becomes more beautiful as our love has grown over the decades). I can’t think of a “better book” to curl up with at night and so I plan to spend the rest of my life with this “amazing” woman.

My son met and married an African woman. Not someone mixed race as your photo appears to be, but an African woman from Zimbabwe. As my grandchildren say, daddy’s white… mommy’s black… and we are mocha. Like you… If it helps you deal better with race, think of yourself as mixed race. Nowadays, thanks to Ancestry.com, more and more Americans are finding they are less “pure” than they thought. So if you are not “pure” don’t define yourself as a “Black woman”, try out beautiful woman with strong attitudes… leave the race baggage for others to struggle with…

Anyone that thinks you a “race” traitor has serious racist issues (yes African Americans can be racist to) simply because you find someone of another race that you like (unless its their skin color you crave at which point, you might be the one with issues).

So what is the key to mixed race dating, simple stop thinking of race as anything other than an obsolete genetic mutation that once proved helpful to people depending on what geography they were growing up in. Imagine if I wrote an article about dating outside your eye color or hair color. Stupid, right? Once you think of race as an obsolete genetic mutation, it simply becomes part of a person and not defining of who they are. You don’t see them as white, Asian, African, Hispanic, Native American… you see them as Susan, Kathy, Joan, etc.

The problem with our identity politics driven world where people define themselves as African American Feminists, how do you find love outside your identity group once you placed yourself in such a narrow one. Try forgetting the… “being racially conscious, progressively feminist, anti-establishment, and generally “woke” woman” and replace it with I am an intelligent woman with strong political feelings looking for a soulmate that shares the same values I do… hopefully one of those values is not skin color…