Every person is a unique individual. Biracial people like five of my grandchildren and two of my children each view their situation differently. One of my grandchildren sees things as you do. He sees inclusion in an identity "group" as important and wants to conform to the group, so he can be a full-fledged member, but feels deep down he does not fit.

The other six seem to navigate between people of all races easily and see their mixed-race status as a tool. As my granddaughter says, sometimes it is better to be black and sometimes it is better to be mixed race.

Obama and Harris both do that. Obama pretends to be black when it suits him, but mixed when that is the better option. Harris tried to be "black" but simply could not pull it off. She was mixed and people rejected her playing the "race" card when it suited her.

Sadly, in a world where "race" is used to pigeonhole people, it can be an advantage to not be so easily labeled. I see my mixed-race children better able to emphasize their individuality and being accepted as different but okay.

In contrast, I see conservative black men being ostracized for not conforming to their "group". So, I guess it comes down to whether you want to fit.