"Ethnically" she is Chinese.

One of the more interesting observations I have made over the years, is in Indonesia race, ethnicity, religion, dialect, culture, and other traditions are used to identity people into separate identity groups. Being comprised of over 13,000 islands, there are many identity groups there. It is the fourth most populated country in the world (or perhaps 5th by now with Nigeria catching up).

One of the least common ways people identify themselves is as Indonesians (like in this country people say I am a Texas, New Yorker, Virginian, etc. not American). They focus on what makes them different, not the same (for me living in 12 states over my life, that definition never worked, so I identify as American).

In the US Indonesian identity groups all disappear, and they become just Indonesians. The "groups" we have mingled with over the decades put little focus on race, ethnicity, dialect, culture, and even traditions, instead, they tend to congregate around food and memories and to a lesser extent the national language. In effect, the first step is to become American Indonesians, more than Chinese Indonesians.

My wife does not mingle with Chinese because they are Chinese; she does not identify with them.

In Indonesia, a white ethnic Dutch Indonesian would likely not have much interaction with a "native" Indonesian Muslim woman from Aceh. But in America, those differences are unimportant.

Much like American born African Americans, don't refer to themselves as Nigerians, South Africans, etc, unless they are immigrants.

Growing up, no one referred to themselves as "white". Italians, Germans, French, Brits, Czechs, Poles, etc.... absolutely... but never "white". So, it seems we are at the state where ethnicities are being blended out... the next step is to blend out race.