As a father of four daughters and the husband of a successful entrepreneur, I believe there is such a thing as “toxic” feminism sometimes referred to as “radical” feminism. I support the original goals of feminism, that all women should have the same civil liberties as men and should not be discriminated against because of their gender.
What I reject are feminists that diminish women who “choose” to stay at home and raise their children or who attempt to shame women for other choices they make. I don’t believe women should be pressured by men or women to make choices, the goal of feminism should be freedom not slavery to a different set of values and ideals.
I reject gender identity politics. Nothing to me was a better example of gender politics then when Madeleine Albright said there is a special place in hell for women who don’t support Hillary Clinton. The “toxic” test is to reverse it and see how it sounds… “there is a special place in hell for men who don’t vote for the male candidate”… sounds misogynistic doesn’t it, it does not change when the gender changes.
I have encouraged my daughters to pursue STEM careers, but in the end I support them with whatever they choose to do. My purpose for encouraging them to pursue to STEM careers is so they know in their hearts that they can support themselves and do not need a “husband” to take care of them. Marriage should be a “choice” not a necessity.
If my daughters end up marrying a wealthy man and they choose to let him “take care of them”, it is okay (as long as they don’t sign a pre-nup, sorry that is a protective dad making sure if his daughter gives up her career, she is not going to regret it later)…
But even in this instance, it is okay if and only if it was her choice… If they marry a man with lesser skills and without pressure from their spouse choose to stay home and raise children, because that is what they want to do… again fine… But, if they are pressured to do so, then it is wrong…
My wife was a successful homemaker for 18 years and now is a successful owner of a small business managing over 50 properties on behalf of a select group of investors and providing property services to homeowners. Success is defined by being good at what you choose to do… not what you choose to do.
Being a slave to anyone’s image of success is toxic. Feeling comfortable and safe in making the decisions that are best for you is liberating. What I do agree with is that masculine behavior intended to deny women the same civil liberties that they enjoy is toxic, but it is no less toxic then feminine behavior intended to deny women the “freedom to pursue their own happiness” and instead demands them to conform to a new image of femininity.
And yes I know I am a man and can never understand the issue… but maybe I bring an independent perspective as I am less vulnerable to “image” conformity pressures aimed at women, not being the target of those pressures.
