Advice from a father of four strong independent women to young women on how to increase the chance of being happy in life (Part 1-Career Choice)
Having raised four daughters and a son and having been an executive in business for most of my career working with young people starting out on their careers, I thought it may be of some value to young women to hear a father’s perspective about “things” they will have to deal with as they mature into independent women. So I will share observations on various topics which I hope you find helpful and of value. I am doing this because I find many young people receive very little guidance on these topics and so often learn the hard way or to late.
Career
Before heading off to college or even afterwards, make a list of those things you are really good at. Are you good with people, talking to strangers, making things with your hands, empathizing with those who need empathy, studying an issue to find an answer. Are you creative, mathematical, scientific, artistic, athletic, etc. When I say “good at”, I mean better than most (a lot better).
From that list develop a list of jobs or careers that you find interesting. Not just a little interesting, but something that you believe could interest you for life. Remember your career is something that could extend over decades. So to be successful, it will have to be something you are good at and also interested in. I have come across many people that are interested in careers they have no talent in and in other cases people that have talent in areas they have no interest. Neither is a formula for happiness… doing something you are no good at generally does not end well… doing something you hate has equally bad outcomes.
Next, from this list of possible careers, ask yourself what kind of “lifestyle” the various careers on your list will support. For example, you might love art and be very good at it, and if you are prepared to life the life of a “starving artist”, then go for it. But if you are someone who wants to live a life of luxury, then it is probably not the best choice.
Once you have narrowed down your choices, look at what it takes to gain entrance to that career. Are their plenty of unfilled jobs just waiting for a qualified person to come along or are there very few jobs?
One of my daughters was a incredible clarinet player, not just good. She played with a professional symphony in high school and got a merit scholarship to college. She was selected outstanding musician in high school and first chair in the tri-state symphony where we lived. She was asked to audition for a position on the Presidential band stationed in Washington. She was not offered the position. As a “performer” there was probably about two dozen jobs in the country that offered her a “career” and most were filled already.
She moved on and went back to school and became a registered nurse graduating as President and number one in her class and enjoys the challenges that working in an Intensive Care Unit of one of the nation’s premier hospitals offers. My point was this daughter of mine had incredible skills that had application in many areas, but the job opportunities were massively better in one over the other. Finding a great job is a combination of luck and qualifications, but your odds improve dramatically when the number of job winners increase.
The final issue is addressing the cost of the education you will need to get the career you have opted to focus on. There is no doubt having parents, who can fund your educational needs is a big advantage, but that does not mean the door is closed to you if you do not. Academic performance is always important, but it becomes more important for those that cannot rely on their parents to fund their educations.
There are people more expert than I, who will be able to help you navigate the way to secure funding for the education you desire provided you have the academic performance necessary to justify that funding, whether it be scholarships or loans. But what is important to know is that in general funding is available but not unlimited funding. So a financial plan which may include working full or part time while you secure the necessary skills is part of getting the career you want. And less you think your situation is different, I employed a senior manager once who grew up in back country of Missouri, had a child at 16, married and divorced before she was 20 and through sheer will turned her life around and got a Masters Degree in Information Systems even though no one in her immediate family had every attended a college. It can be done.
Career choice is an important decision that will impact someone for most of their life even if they decide to change careers later in life. Did all my daughters follow this approach? No. And it has cost her a great deal of grief and made life so much harder than it had to be. I will provide other observations on “Job selection”, “Mate choice”, and other life choices. Whether you agree with me or not is not nearly as important as whether this article stimulates you to think about the career you have chosen or the career you are about to choose.
Finally, I believe women should choose a career that will enable them to live independently. Don’t look at your career as a “second income” job. You may later choose to be a stay at home mom and that is okay. No one can make you happy other than yourself and to me part of being happy is make choices that make you happy. Having the skills to live independently will dramatically contribute to your self esteem. It also means other choices you make in life are because you want those choices not because you need to make them to get by.
